We are finally here!

We arrived on Saipan Tuesday evening (Tuesday morning for any IL folks)!  We arrived around 10:00 p.m. Tuesday, dropped our luggage off at the apartment and were taken to a LATE dinner.  By that point, Jason, Emilia and I were all pretty well brain-dead, but we were glad to not eat airplane food.

The first nights were pretty rough for Emilia.  No matter how tired she was from the day, she would wake up around 3:30 ready for the day.  A couple of those days, I was able to convince her to stay in her room quietly, and she made it until about 5:00 before coming back in to get me.  I know it's mostly due to jet lag, but I think she is also still adjusting to the warmer climate.

Because electricity is so expensive, we do not use AC during the day.  We only run it for about an hour before we go to bed, in the bedrooms, just to take the humidity out of the air a little.  We are SOSO thankful that we were able to purchase two fans from the previous apartment occupants (Grant and Kara)...they are definitely a necessity for keeping relatively cool, at night and especially during the day.  I have been told by a 2nd year teacher that they pretty much move their fan to whatever room of the apartment they are in.

Emilia and I try to spend as much time outside, in the shade, as we can.  During the day, it is usually a little cooler outside than in our apartment- even with our front and back doors open.  It has been challenging to keep her occupied and entertained when I have to rest so frequently, but we are working on it.

I know I am truly blessed to be able to stay home with her every day, but I agonize over what to do with her each day.  I'm not sure if it's more difficult this time because she is older or because I have to try and make sure we stay cool whatever we are doing...but I already feel like I'm failing her somehow.  I am hopefully going to look into a part-time preschool option that will give her some social interaction.  That has been a little tricky so far too...none of the other teachers in the apartments have any kids so we spend most of our time just the two of us. So far it has been fun, but I know she needs (and WANTS) to be around other kids.  She asks almost every day if she gets to play with any new friends today.  That makes my heart hurt a little.  But I know it's only a matter of time before she gets to make new friends and have someone other than me to play with.  ;-)

We attended church services for the first time yesterday and they were really great.  The English speaking service is at 10:30 a.m. and everyone was very friendly.  There were several familiar faces, even more so for Jason since he has been here before.  Emilia fell asleep in my lap and totally missed Children's Church.  She was pretty bummed about that.  We went to lunch with a group of the teachers and then took E to the park in the afternoon.  The Filipino service is at 5:00 p.m. and it was also very welcoming.  They invited us to dinner afterwards at a local, authentic Japanese restaurant.  Our group was very large, so it took well over an hour to get our food.  But it was really fun getting to know some of the congregation and there was a little 9-yr-old girl who played with Emilia the whole time (yay!!).  We got home pretty late, but that helped Emilia sleep in until 7:30 so I'm good with that!!

The other thing we've done so far is move E's bed into our bedroom so we are only running 1 AC unit at night.  We were given this suggestion by another family who used to live in the apartments.  While it is not ideal to have Emilia sleeping in the same room as us, it will really help keep our electricity costs down, which is totally worth it.

I apologize for the randomness of this post...I still haven't quite figured things out but I wanted to give a little update.  I am also sorry if any of this sounds like complaining; it isn't meant to.  I am just logging some thoughts from the beginning of this journey.  I know God is moving in our lives and hearts and it will be good to look back and see how far we've come.

Just a matter of weeks

The closer we get to our Saipan launch date, the more I begin to count big milestones by number of weeks.  This helps make these events more tangible, and also makes them a little scary!  This is my life, in a matter of weeks:

3 Weeks left at my current job

4 Weeks left until we go on full mission support

4 Weeks until we *hopefully* find out Saipan Baby's gender  (Make your guesses now!)  ;0)

(Less than) 5 Weeks until we (Emilia included) leave for a month-long Cultural Training course in North Carolina

8 Weeks until our Commissioning Service at Skyline Church

9 Weeks until the General Baptist Missions & Ministry Summit in Springfield, MO

10 Weeks until we say Goodbye to everyone and everything we have ever known, board a plane (or three...) and say Hello to a whole new life God has planned for us!

24 Weeks to Saipan Baby's due date

Whew!  Does that list make anyone besides me tired and a little anxious??  More tired than anxious.  I Know God has this all under control, and I trust Him with everything. 

It just doesn't seem possible that we are THIS CLOSE to leaving.  Wasn't it just September when we were announcing the initial decision?  How did so much time sneak by us?  Crunch time is here and I feel under-prepared.  It looks like it might be time to start making lists again...oh rats! ;-)

Rely {Fully} on God

The last few weeks have been a little rough in the Warren household.  I really feel like Satan has been attacking me with a few things and I haven't been doing very well with it.  It wasn't until one day last week while praying on my way to work that God told me exactly what to do.  {TRUST ME}.

As you may know, our main focus at present is raising support before leaving for Saipan in July.  This involves seeking out Support Team Partners who will commit to donating as little as $10/month for the 2 years we will be gone.  This money is what makes our mission work on Saipan possible.  In addition to that, we also have one lump sum amount to raise to pay for travel to Saipan, shipping of goods, etc.  A lot of numbers that are always on my mind.  In the course of only a couple days the week before last (it may have been last week actually...?), we had a couple sets of bad news in this area.  They really rocked my heart and I was honestly struggling with each sad response.

I do not want to go into great detail about this, because in the grand scheme of things it isn't overly important.  But, I will say that we have been heart broken to realize some relationships aren't as strong as we believed them to be.  Relationships that span over one or more decades.  It hurts.  It hurts hearing "no" from people of power within churches and not even being offered prayer or encouragement in its place.  It hurts to find out a church's promised commitment has to be revoked due to grumblings of a few.  It hurts being told "we can't help" from people we have known for years and considered close friends.  While maybe I shouldn't take it to this extreme, it feels like we are being told that we are not worth a sacrifice on their part- like the work God is calling us to do on Saipan isn't worth their $0.34 a day.

Yes, I do understand that there truly are circumstances out there in which some of our loved ones will not be able to support us financially.  The economy is rough and people have other obligations.  I am not saying any of this as a judgement against anyone.  The point I am trying to make is that even when a person (or group) says they cannot support us monetarily, it has rarely been followed up with an offering of prayer and encouragement.  We are in desperate need of the prayers and encouragement of those around us.  Prayer will be the fuel for everything we do Here and on Saipan.  I understand if one cannot afford to sponsor us, but please keep us close in your prayers and share words of encouragement.

As I said, Satan has really been pushing these sad thoughts on my mind recently and it has worn me down.  I started feeling defeated.  I started talking to God about each specific situation and how it felt.  Once I poured out my heart, I felt a sense of calm.  That is when I heard Him- not audibly, but definitely from Him- saying {TRUST ME}.  It was time to stop relying on my own efforts or the efforts of my husband, our missions director or other people.  It is time to rely FULLY on God and to know that His timing is excellent and perfect.  Yes, I am scared at the loss of shares we encountered last week and find myself wishing to reach our goal {soon}.  But, these are not things within my control.  God has the plan.  I just need to keep working towards the goal and HE will make sure we get there.

I want to add- This journey has had way more joys than sorrows, for sure.  God has used a number of people to bless us beyond our expectations.  More than once, a Share Card has come in or a conversation has been had and we are blown away by the generousity of our friends and family.  God's blessings are not coming from the places we had deemed most likely or the places/people we were "counting on".  His blessings are being poured out by His servants- those willing to sacrifice for the mission on Saipan. 

These people do not even know how much they have touched our lives, and they may never fully know.  But it was the reminder I needed to refocus my energy and emotions.  I only need to rely {fully} on God and His timing.  July is coming and through God's provisions, we WILL be ready.

Refocusing

I have been pretty quiet this week on blogger...and fb...and life.  I tried to keep my complaints to a minimum while Jason has been away.  I know there are many circumstances that blow this 2 week stint out of the water. 

I reminded myself this morning that there are military families all over the world who are going through so much more than me right now.  Yes, I miss my husband and Emilia misses her daddy.  Yes, Emilia's behavior and attitude have been on the decline since he left and it makes me sad.  But what are these 16 days compared to 6 months-1 year-Years apart?  We have a lot of changes going on in our little family right now and there are many hard days.  But this can not even compare to the sacrifices our military families- including the several friends I have who are in the military.  Families moving every two years, going for months at a time without seeing or talking to their families, moving across the world away from everything they have ever known.  Shame on me for throwing a pity party this morning.  My husband is safe and will be home tomorrow.  Some families live in constant fear that their loved ones are in danger and may never come home. 

Thank you to all my military friends, their spouses and families for the huge sacrifices you make for our country.  May we never forget- even for a moment- how your lives make our lives and our country better.  (I will work on a couple posts soon to get back on track...no more pity parties for me.)